Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
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Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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