So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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