The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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