My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh god it's open bar.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize