I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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