She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
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The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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