Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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