If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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