I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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