New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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