I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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