I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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