so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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