had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize