so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
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We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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