You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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