Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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