Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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