I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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