the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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