he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
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You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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