I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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