She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize