What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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