you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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