I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
two words...techno handjob
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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