i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize