I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize