we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize