My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize