My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize