I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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