Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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