I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
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He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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