I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize