So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize