I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize