I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he thought i was a dude.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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