3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize