i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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