if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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