he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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