If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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