We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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