I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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