Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
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She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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