if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize