My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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