I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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