she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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