I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize